Revised Jun 6 2021

No. 69. Miss N. Heywood to Mr. P. Heywood

Isle of Man — Sep'r. 17^th 1792

I wrote you a few Lines my ever fondly beloved Brother on Saturday Night by Mr. Southcote (who was going to London) in such a Hurry that I hardly know anything in my Letter, only as my whole soul was at that Time as every other Moment of my Life entirely occupied by your dear Idea, it must have been dictated by Tenderness & Affection. — I have a delightful Letter from my Uncle Pasley expressive of the most affectionate Solicitude & the fullest Confidence in his Friend Mr. Graham's Abilities. — how kind is this amiable & worthy Man, my Love, thus to feel for you a Father's Anxiety & Tenderness, & how proudly happy am I to know assuredly that the Object of those Sentiments does the highest Honor to his Goodness! — If he had not the most just & best grounded Hopes in the World, he wou'd not have told me that Things were favorable, nor advised the keeping up our Spirits, for I know him so perfectly as to be well assured he is the last Man on Earth that wou'd flatter. — we are therefore perfectly easy as to the result of the Court Martial, for if Justice is to be found on Earth we ought to be morally certain of your Acquittal. — Yet — wou'd to God! — it were happily over! — I believe I mentioned in my last Mr. Southcote's Intention of settling with you the Plan of your returning Home together — I wish it may be so for I know it wou'd give you my Love Pleasure to have so old & pleasant a Friend for your travelling Companion & he is particularly desirous of you Company. — Mary is sitting by me, & requests me to say that she begs you will not attribute her silence to Neglect as she wou'd certainly with the most extreem Pleasure write oftner but that Nessy does it so well (I am blushing violently but she insists on my saying so) & is so very fond of the Employment — so I am Peter to you — that she thinks no other Apology necessary — My Mama wrote on Saturday to your charming Friend Mrs. Bertie in Answer to the most delightful Letter you can possibly have an Idea of from her — I call her your Friend in particular my Love but she has been the Friend of us all — the sweet Soother of our Fears, & by paying you the tender Attentions of a Sister has loaded us with Obligations which can never be sufficiently admired & gratefully remembered & which a whole Life of Thanks cannot possibly repay — I hope, most anxiously hope you are now with her enjoying the Sweets of Freedom, & the Charms of her Conversation — how condescending was her Goodness in desiring she might keep you at Portsmouth till the Agitation of your Mind was in some degree subsided! — in short my dear Peter we live in a bad World 'tis true, but yet how happy may we esteem ourselves to have met with a Number of kind Friends on whose just Praises we might for ever expatiate with Delight & Pleasure. — It is impossible for me to express our infinite Thanks to my Uncle Pasley's Friend Mr. Graham (of whom he speaks to me in Terms of the highest Admiration & strongest Friendship) — let me beg of you to make our most grateful Acknowledgements to him & assure him we shall never forget his Kindness — may he reap every reward his disinterested Goodness justly merits — & may your honorable Acquittal recompense his generous Exertions & uncommon Abilities in your Behalf! — My Mama is, I am happy to say pretty well, but I will not decieve you by saying she is at Ease — that you know too well is at Present impossible — Alas! on may be in a very unpleasant situation from Anxiety alone! — be perfectly assured however my dear Love that no Attention which can contribute to her Comfort is, or shall be omitted & at your joyful return we shall all be happy! — Farewell my dear, dear Brother — I need not say (much as I love writing to you) I ardently hope this may be my last Letter — My Heaven for ever bless & protect you — May your Mind be filled with pleasurable Ideas only, & may every uneasy reflection be banished from your Bosom — in short — may your Life in future be as happy as Peace, Innocence, & conscious Integrity, can make it — caressed by your generous Friends, & endearing yourself to them by your Worth & Merit till I am again permitted to clasp you to my faithful Bosom, as the Joy, the Pride, the Happiness, of your fondly affectionate

& admiring Sister

  Nessy Heywood