Revised Jun 6 2021

No. 89. Miss N. Heywood to Mr. P. Heywood

Great Russel Street 6^th Oct^r 1792

Be not surprized my best & dearest Brother at the Date of my Letter — I set off by Invitation of the inestimable Mr. Graham last Monday on receipt of the dreadful Sentence! — which with your Letters to myself and Dr. Scott (the Contents of which charmed my reason but wrung my soul with Anguish inconceivable) arrived altogether — at this Moment I write under his hospitable roof where I am to remain (may I say) till I am once more blessed with the Society of the dearest Object of my Affection! — you will not hope my Love — your strong & noble Mind disdains to listen to her Blandishments — but I must — or I must cease to live — & oh! Heaven grant I may not hope in vain! — My reason for coming to Town was, that the Delays of the Packet have been so intolerable, that we cou'd scarcely endure it; & as Mr. G— thought my being here might make my Mama's Mind much easier, he sent me an Invitation to his House, where I — but I will not tell you my Wishes — shall I own to you my precious Love I never felt myself at a Loss in writing to you till this Moment — You desire me to write but little, & I dare not disobey you; but let me hear from you immediately & be not angry that I am here. —

I left my Mama better than cou'd have been expected & very much comforted by Mr. Grahams kind Letters — Ah! my Peter — 'tis impossible to speak his Goodness! — tell me for God's Sake how you are — if your Health shou'd suffer by the dreadful Evils you have borne with such exemplary Fortitude — but I will not — dare not give Way to the Idea of losing you! — I do not ask to see you at Portsmouth, for Mr. Graham does not wish it, & his saying so adds strength to my Hopes — I am in my own Mind perfectly convinced that God is all-merciful & will not forsake Innocence such as your's — Adieu my Brother — endeared as you are to my soul by every new Misfortune ever accompanied by a new Effort of Virtue how can I support — but I will not think of it — write — that I may know you are not ill, but that your precious Health is worthy of such a Mind — if that is not injured, while in your present situation, I think something whispers me there is still Happiness in store for my beloved Brother & his fond anxious &

inexpressibly affec't. Sister

    Nessy Heywood

write soon if it will not distress you — Adieu my Love! —