Revised Jun 6 2021

No. 27. Miss N. Heywood to Mrs. Bertie

Isle of Man. – 9th. July 1792

Overwhelmed with Sensations of Gratitude & Pleasure which she is too much agitated to express, permit Jun 28, 1792 me dearest Madam at my Mama's request, to offer you her's & our most sincere Acknowledgements for your invaluable *Letter of the 28th. which from the Detention of the Packet for nearly a whole Week she did not receive till Yesterday. — By a Letter from my beloved Brother of the same date we are informed that Mr. Larkham (who I suppose to be the Gentleman you mention having sent to see him) had been on board the Hector & had kindly offered him the most salutary Advice relative to his present situation, for which allow me to request you will present him our best Thanks — & also speaks with every Expression a grateful Heart can dictate of your excellent Father Mr. Heywood's Goodness in providing for all his Wants even before he cou'd have received any Letter from us to that purpose. Ah! my dear Madam, how truly characteristic is this of the kind Friendship with which he has ever honored our Family! but my lov'd Peter doe not yet know that Mr. Heywood has a Daughter whose Generosity is equal to his own, & whose amiable Compassion for his sufferings it will be as impossible for us to forget, as it is to express the Admiration & Gratitude it has inspired. — It wou'd I am convinced be unnecessary as well as a very bad Compliment to you Madam were I to presume to point out any thing in particular to be done for our poor Boy, as I have not the least Doubt your Goodness & kind Attention has long ago rendered every Care of that Sort on our Part unnecessary: — i shall only add that my Mama begs every Wish he forms may be granted; & sure I am he will not desire a single Gratification that can be deemed Jun 23, 1792 in the smallest Degree improper. — In one of my Brother's Letters of the 23'd. he hints that he shall not be permitted to see any of his relations till his Trial is over, & that he therefore does not expect us — I have however written to Mr. Heywood (without whose Approbation I wou'd by no Means take any step) for permission to go to him. — If it is absolutely impossible for me to see him (tho' in the Presence of Witnesses) yet even that Prohibition, cruel as it is, I cou'd bear with Patience, provided I might be near him — to see the ship in which he at present exists — to behold those Objects which perhaps at the same Moment attract his Notice — to breathe the same Air which he breathes — Ah! my dearest Madam, these are inestimable Gratifications, & wou'd convey Sensations of rapture & Delight to the fond Bosom of a Sister which the charming Writer of your Letter may conceive, but which is far, very far beyond my Power to describe! — Besides, the Anxiety & Impatience produced by the immense Distance which now separates us from him, & the Uncertainty attending the Packet (depending upon Winds & Weather) render it difficult & sometimes impossible to hear of him so often as we cou'd wish — & may I not add (tho' Heaven in its Mercy forbid it — for Alas! the bare Idea is too dreadful yet it is in the Scale of Possibility!) that some Accident might happen to deprive us of my dearest Brother — how insupportably bitter wou'd then be our reflections for having omitted the Opportunity, when it was in our Power, of administring Comfort & Consolation to him in Person — for these reasons I earnestly hope Mr. Heywood will not judge it improper to comply with my request, & shall wait with eager Impatience for the Arrival of his next Letter. Think not my dear Madam that it is Want of Confidence in your Care & Attention which makes me solicitous to be with my beloved Peter. — Be assured we are all as perfectly easy in that respect as if we were on the Spot; but I am convinced, you will pardon the Dictates of an Affection which an Absence of five Years, rendered still more painful by his sufferings, has heightened almost to a Degree of Adoration. — I shall with you Permission take the Liberty of enclosing a Letter to my Brother which I leave open for Perusal, & at the same Time request your Pardon for mentioning you to him in such Terms as I am apprehensive will wound the Delicacy which ever accompanies Generosity like yours, but indeed my dearest Madam, I cannot, must not suffer my beloved Boy to remain in Ignorance of that Worth & Excellence which has prompted you to become his kind Protectress. — My Mama begs to offer her best Acknowledgements, in which permit us to join. — please to direct for us Parade Douglas Isle of Man.

* see Page 109[*]

I have the Honor to be with every sentiment of Gratitude

my dearest Madam

  your most obliged

    & ever obedient serv't.

      Nessy Heywood

[* The pages of the manuscript are numbered and the letters run from page to page, whereas I have given each letter a page.]