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Fateful Voyage

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Revised May 28 2021

Peter Heywood's first Letter after his Conviction

Sep 20,1792

The following letter was written to Rev. Dr. Patrick Scott, of the Isle of Man, who knew him from boyhood, Sep 20, 1792, two days after the court-martial ended.

Honoured and dear Sir,

Sep 12, 1792
Sep 18, 1792

On Wednesday the 12th instant the awful trial commenced, and on that day, when in Court, I had the pleasure of receiving your most kind and parental letter, in answer to which I now communicate to you the melancholy issue of it, which, as I desired my friend Mr. Graham to inform you of immediately, will be no dreadful news to you. The morning lowers, and all my hope of worldly joy is fled. On Tuesday morning the 18th the dreadful sentence of death was pronounced upon me, to which (being the just decree of that Divine Providence who first gave me breath) I bow my devoted head, with that fortitude, cheerfulness, and resignation, which is the duty of every member of the church of our blessed saviour and redeemer Christ Jesus. To Him alone I now look up for succour, in full hope that perhaps a few days more will open to the view of my astonished and fearful soul his kingdom of eternal and incomprehensible bliss, prepared only for the righteous of heart.

I have not been found guilty of the slightest act connected with that detestable crime of mutiny, but am doomed to die for not being active in my endeavours to suppress it. Could the witnesses who appeared on the Court-martial be themselves tried, they would also suffer for the very same and only crime of which I have been found guilty. But I am to be the victim. Alas! my youthful inexperience, and not depravity of will, is the sole cause to which I can attribute my misfortunes. But so far from repining at my fate, I receive it with a dreadful kind of joy, composure, and serenity of mind; well assured that it has pleased God to point me out as a subject through which some greatly useful (though at present unsearchable) intention of the divine attributes may be carried into execution for the future benefit of my country. Then why should I repine at being made a sacrifice for the good, perhaps, of thousands of my fellow-creatures; forbid it, Heaven! Why should I be sorry to leave a world in which I have met with nothing but misfortunes and all their concomitant evils? I shall on the contrary endeavour to divest myself of all wishes for the futile and sublunary enjoyments of it, and prepare my soul for its reception into the bosom of its Redeemer. For though the very strong recommendation I have had to his Majesty's mercy by all the members of the Court may meet with his approbation, yet that is but the balance of a straw, a mere uncertainty, upon which no hope can be built; the other is a certainty that must one day happen to every mortal, and therefore the salvation of my sould requires my most prompt and powerful exertions during the short time I may have to remain on earth.

As this is too tender a subject for me to inform my unhappy and distressed mother and sisters of, I trust, dear Sir, you will either shew them this letter, or make known to them the truly dreadful intelligence in such a manner as (assisted by your wholesome and paternal advice) may enable them to bear it with Christian fortitude. The only worldly feelings I am now possessed of are for their happiness and welfare; but even these, in my present situation, I must endeavour, with God's assistance, to eradicate from my heart, how hard soever the task. I must strive against cherishing any temporal affections. But, my dear Sir, endeavour to mitigate my distressed mother's sorrow. Give my everlasting duty to her, and unabated love to my disconsolate brothers and sisters, and all my other relations. Encourage them, by my example, to bear up with fortitude and resignation to the Divine will, under their load of misfortunes, almost too great for female nature to support, and teach them to be fully persuaded that all hopes of happiness on earth are vain. On my own account I still enjoy the most easy serenity of mind; and am, dear Sir, for ever your greatly indebted and most dutiful, but ill-fated,

PETER HEYWOOD


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